Mutation Central: Horny Teenage Aliens

[snarkbotanya]

Again with the Uglacies... yep, I really just can't tear myself away from them. That and these pictures actually cover relatively short periods of my Sims' lives, given that I take so many of them. Their antics are just so amusing, and I love the stories that come of them.



Last time, the Uglacies welcomed the last baby of Generation 3: Rose Uglacy, named for the legendary Sue Rose Potter. I doubt she has a chance at the heirship, but I'm still hoping for her to grow up into a little meanie so that we can see some shenanigans from her. Plus, it's nice to get more Uglacy girls in here; they were quite boy-inclined before Hargrid started having kids.

Rose also has the distinction of technically being a dhampir, although since this is Sims 2, that doesn't actually get her anything but bragging rights. The vampire thing is why she's getting handed off in this picture; the sun is about to rise, and Contessa Marjorie needs to get in her coffin.

Case in point. I had her set to get in the coffin right after giving Rose to Hargrid, but of course she had to stop what she was doing to hiss and cower from the scorching rays of the Hate Orb.



Br'yan, what are you doing?

"I'm cleaning the puddles, but they never seem to end!"

That's because the shower is broken, you doofus. Use your 6 Mechanical points from that want you FINALLY fulfilled and fix it!

Yeah, he's definitely got his father's brains.



It's Sunday, so I'm stuck with the kids at home. Time for skilling! StarDrifter turns out to be predestined for Tinkering like his cousin. Unlike his cousin, he skills like a maniac. I wonder if alien kids being ridiculously smart is programmed into the game? It could also be Hargrid's genes; he may not have been a genius kiddo on the level of these two, but he rocked the skilling in his teen and college years.



Hargrid is still a great dad, by the way. He keeps right on top of little Rosie's needs whenever I let him get away from the punching bag. Gotta max out that Sports enthusiasm, dude!

I should probably mention at this point that I have some hacks installed regarding hobbies. Though I am aware of the Great Pinstar's dislike for hacks, these ones actually make it harder to gain enthusiasm, especially in hobbies you aren't predestined for. As a matter of fact, it makes it literally impossible to max a hobby that's not a Sim's One True Hobby. In light of that, I'm not sure whether to keep that legacy point for the family hobby being Dick's predestined one, but considering that the hacks actually make me rely on bloodline members having the same predestined hobby as the founder to gain points in that category, I kinda want to keep it. It also makes it nigh-impossible for me to get a complete set of hobby plaques.



I do take a bit of a break from skilling Renesmee, though, because I kind of want her to have a birthday party and get her mindslaves friends to grow up with her. Br'yan's a Popularity Sim, and Hargrid and Marjorie are both Popularity secondary, so I figure it could get some aspiration points.

"Come on, Isabella, be my friend! You have my namesake's mother's name, it'll be perfect! Besides, if you won't be my friend and come to my party to age up with me... *giggle* ...I'll kidnap you and feed you to Audrey III."



"Hmm, if I tuck my ears under the fake ones a bit more, I guess it doesn't look so bad... yeah, who's the man? I am!"

Dude, you have zits. Use some acne cream.

"Elves don't need acne cream!"

Suit yourself.



Renesmee technically could have grown up tonight, but I knew this was coming from Robyn's life bar, and I didn't want her appointment with Grimmy to ruin the party.

"It is time, Robyn Uglacy... to come to the luau!"



"Ooh, you even brought me booze! Will my husband be there?"

"Well, yes, but I should warn you that he's been casually dating a bunch of other souls ever since he arrived..."

"Eh, the vows did say 'till death do us part'. Besides, he's Romance. Some Sims just are. Maybe we can finally have that threesome I know he wanted."

"Just take the drink, please... I need to get that mental image out of my head."

Me too, Grimmy. At least she's not going to be mad when she walks in on Dick with the off-duty hula girls.



And so Robyn Uglacy, aka The Maw, passes away at age 82, her LTW to be a Criminal Mastermind fulfilled. I always thought she wasn't the brightest Sim for refusing to roll wants for her kids and not noticing another woman smooching Dick right in front of her, but it seems she just had a little Romance in her all along. Rest in peace, Robyn, and have fun doing kinky evil mastermind roleplay with your husband in the afterlife.

With Robyn gone, Generation 1 has officially passed on. Still, since I'm playing with Free Roaming Ghosts, there's a good chance we'll see them again scaring their relatives for shits and giggles. I've placed them side by side in the backyard, and once we have enough graves for a legitimate family graveyard, they'll get to share the place of honor.



Once I'm done with the graves, I have to quickly pop back to the house to keep Marjorie from biting Hargrid. She does this every night: pops out of the coffin, and immediately stalks off to find her husband and bite his neck. I'm on to her, though, so she won't get a bite that easily. It's still a couple weeks before I plan on having him changed.



What the... Br'yan, are you autonomously babysitting your cousin?

"Yeah! Come on, she's actually cute, not like the other two hideous mutants."

Okay, then. I suppose I can't say no to autonomous childcare, even if it is shocking coming from a Popularity Sim, and a teenager at that. Maybe it's a bit of his parents' influence showing through. I don't think Rose is as impressed as I am, though; she seems to be pointedly looking away from his ugly pimple-face and hideous fake elf ears.



Meanwhile, Hargrid finishes his conversation with his old professor and proceeds to cry hysterically for a good half a Sim hour at least. I want to give him a hug... losing Robyn must be tough. She was his mother, the parent who taught him all his skills, and the one who understood his Freaky-Is-Cool Knowledge Sim philosophy.



Grignr is also in tears once he gets home from work, and it lasts about as long as it did when Shona died; heck, maybe even longer. As with Hargrid, Robyn was the parent who actually taught him things, and Family Sims hate to see their parents go.

Really, it seems the whole household is in mourning except for Contessa Marjorie, who barely knew Robyn, and the baby, who's too young to understand this kind of thing yet.



Though, there is one Sim who hasn't shed a tear over Grandma Robyn's demise... Renesmee Uglacy, the anticrhist, budding serial killer extraordinaire. The thought bubbles pop up over her head, but she doesn't show any emotion. She just contemplates it, cold and calculating, like a vulture as it circles above a choice piece of carrion.



"Even her friends and acquaintances still attempt to reach her... my poor departed mother, how my overwroughtsoul shivers forlornly at her absence!"

Grignr's sadness is really getting me down at this point. I think he needs a way to honor Robyn's passing...



...so I let him have the last lobster. He loved his mother's cooking almost as much as his wife's, so it seems appropriate.

"This feast will be in remembrance of my mother, an exemplary woman in all respects."

Grignr... did you just say "woman" instead of "wench"?

"The soul of my mother demands respect far above any ordinary wench. She was a worthy woman in all respects, and did not deserve to be wedded to my slut of a father. If by any other means I may honor her memory, the quivering thews of my lashing arms are yours to command."

Well... I think she'd like to see you max your skills. You up for it?

"A true Ecordian warrior never refuses a challenge! I will master all disciplines, beginning with the culinary arts!"



Contessa Marjorie finally gets to go to her night job, giving us a glimpse of the Handprintmobile. I haven't seen that crappy car on this lot since Hargrid was a teenager. She comes home with a promotion to Projectionist, because I've been skilling her while she was pregnant and she's now set for a good few levels. Her new position requires her to get up a bit before sunset, though, so it's time to head into the danger zone.



While the Contessa works and everyone else sleeps, Grignr takes over babysitting duty with Rose. I was kind of half-hoping for her to spit up on him so that I could make another hellspawn-baby joke, but she was perfectly happy to be played with. All the kids love Uncle Griggy.



Another thing I never thought I'd end up taking a screenshot of: a vampire contessa tending a hydroponic garden of suspicious plants. Contessa Marjorie here is totally a stoner; she rolled wants for the bubble hookah until I finally caved and bought one, and now she constantly wants to blow bubbles.



Ahh, just three kids at breakfast... eh, who am I kidding, just look at Renesmee's speech bubble.

"Here's our little secret, Br'yan... *giggle* ...I killed your mother."



After school, it's time for her birthday... unfortunately, it turned out that children can't throw parties and none of the other household members know Renesmee's friends. So I just had her grow up in the living room. Spin, Renesmee, spin!



*sings* BABY YOU'RE A FIIIIIREWOOOOOOORK!







AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!

The horrifying jawline, which had receded a bit in her transition from Toddler to Child, comes back with a vengeance, and the not-nose pulls even further into the middle of her face. Her eyes bug out unnaturally, and her ears are nearly nonexistent. She's hideous, no, grotesque... and I couldn't be happier!

Or, well, I could... because guess what aspiration she just rolled? Romance. Still taking after Grandpa Dick, I see, not to mention her namesake, who just had to have two men thinking nasty thoughts about her as a young child... at least her LTW is to be a professional party guest; that's definitely doable. Her secondary aspiration rolls as Fortune, which I suppose fits for a character named after a Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich Cullen.

That hair really doesn't suit her, though, and the green-and-brown dress is horrible with her skintone. It's time for a makeover...



That's more like it. Frilly, girly, white, and AAAARRGGGHHH, THOSE CHEEKS! Your face never ceases to amaze, Renesmee.

Seriously, I'm having a hard time imagining how that face could get worse... but Sim teens almost always look better than Sim adults, so it's going to get worse. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.



Renesmee's not the only one who has a birthday tonight, though... it's also time for Rose to become a toddler! Attendance is kind of low, though; Contessa Marjorie is at work, StarDrifter went to bed early because waking up at 1AM last night to mourn his grandma didn't agree with him, and Br'yan is doing everybody's homework because he's a spare and that's a spare's job. Hargrid does the honors, Grignr cheers his little niece on, and Renesmee silently plots murder in the background.



"I'm a ninja, and I can fly!"



Another tux... ANOTHER TUX?!? What the hell is with you Sims and dressing your children in tuxedoes? Ugh!

This kid's definitely a spare, though. She may have Daddy's squashed nose, but she's definitely her mother's child. She's also the first Uglacy child with a natural hair color other than black! Where'd the brown come from, you ask? Well, it turns out that both of the premade Contessas are natural brunettes; they just went to opposite sides of the hair color spectrum when they dyed their hair. A lot of premade townies have hair colors that don't match their genetics. One example is Sandy Bruty, who is a natural redhead and the true source of the red-haired original Uglacies pre-Komei. Robyn, or Lila Roennigke in the game files, is also a redhead-dyed-blonde, so there's a fair chance that we'll see some carrot-tops in this Uglacy somewhere down the line. Let's just hope Renesmee and StarDrifter inherited their father's recessive hair allele along with the Pollination Technician's dominant black.

I should also note at this point that I'm playing with my own genetics mod installed, which reshuffles the genetic levels for hair and eye colors into a more clear-cut dominant/recessive pattern. With the mod, hair colors have a strict hierarchy of black > brown > red > blond, and eye colors are brown > green > dark blue > light blue > gray. This results in less randomness when marrying in homozygous-dominant townies, but can produce some interesting results when recessive genes come into play. I like being able to make nice, accurate Punnett squares for my Sims, okay? It's not weird! *jumps out a window*

(Incidentally, do you guys think it would be legal to go through the townies' files and randomly roll recessive genes for them? I mean, it's random, and custom townies are allowed, so it probably should be. It also falls under the "purely aesthetic" label under which I've justified my use of the genetics mod in general, so...)



There we go; that's much better. Fall is going by quickly, and the temperature outside is getting chillier, so she'll need that scarf. Plus, the red sweater looks good with her hair and eye colors.

Now that that's taken care of, let's take a look at the stats. Rose Uglacy may look cute, but her personality is anything but. She's a Taurus, 7/9/3/10/1: neat, extremely outgoing, lazy, way too playful, and almost as mean as Renesmee. I really have no idea where all that playfulness comes from, considering the genetic personalities on her parents, but I suppose she and StarDrifter can entertain each other.



Her mean personality asserts itself immediately. As soon as she's set down, she starts beating the shit out of the Rip Co. Wobbly Wabbit Head.

That poor bunny has survived two generations of Uglacy toddlers. Truly, this is a feat worthy of remembrance.



Contessa Marjorie returns from work with a promotion to Home Video Editor, which places us even further into the Danger Zone, because its hours are 11AM to 5PM. Still, I've kept her alive this long, and her needs are stable while she's at work, so this should be doable.



Now that she's a teenager, Renesmee has gone from tormenting her little brother to pointedly ignoring him.

"He's a freak. I'm a legit green-skinned space babe, and he's just a carnival sideshow."

Gee, talk about the pot calling the kettle black.



Renesmee, I know that look. What are you planning?

"Nothing!~"

Don't you try to use your mind-control powers on me, young lady! I'm on to you, and whatever evil scheme you're cooking up, I will not stand for it!



Thanks to Smart Milk, Rose is quickly learning her skills. Hargrid rolled wants to teach them this time, so I guess his Knowledge-Sim-ness isn't broken after all. Maybe StarDrifter is just the unfavorite.

Anyway, seeing as this is an Uglacy, we don't usually get cute toddler pics here... so I'll take an opportunity when I see one!







It's like a palate cleanser for your eyes. Rose really is a little cutie.



One of Renesmee's aged-up mindslaves comes home from school with Br'yan. Her name's Leonora Langley, and I think she has one of those face templates that's kind of cute on girls, but weird on guys. I decide to let her stick around, just for observation...



...and she immediately heads for the bar. I guess she needs a stiff drink after getting so many good looks at Br'yan, Renesmee, and StarDrifter.



Renesmee heads off to build up her Body skill and Sports enthusiasm, and HOLY SHIT, her angry face is legitimately terrifying. To put that in perspective for you, I am the kind of person who can marathon scary movies, then read a bit of Stephen King to wind down, then fall asleep listening to heavy metal... and sleep like a baby. Well, a baby who sleeps through the night. Which I actually was; I've always been a heavy sleeper.



"Hey Marjorie, look, I got an A+!"

STARDRIFTER! Not you too! I thought you liked Marjorie; your relationship bars are in the green and everything!

"Renesmee saw my report card and said Marjorie would want to see it. She said she'd be really proud of me!"

Of course Renesmee was behind this... poisoning her aunt wasn't nearly enough for her insatiable bloodlust; she won't be satisfied until she becomes a full-fledged serial killer. I also doubt Marjorie would be that impressed with an A+ report card, being a Pleasure Sim with Popularity secondary... though she does have Science as her predestined hobby, so maybe there's a little bit of Knowledge in her somewhere.



"I hate that dumb blonde so much... I will get her one day, mark my words..."

Egads, her mutated cheek- and jawbones are clipping through her hair, and I don't think I've ever noticed how much she has Dick and Hargrid's frowny eyebrows.

Speaking of our dearly-departed founder, some of you might have noticed that I was a little sneaky when creating him, because while he wasn't ugly, he also wasn't your standard "normal-looking" Sim. I did actually try to put in a few traits that I knew would look weird mixed with other face templates, including the frowny "I hate everything" eyebrows a very toned-down version of the Komei Tellerman jaw and mouth. Of course, there really isn't much of Dick in his descendants' faces, so that didn't really come into play. He left his mark on their horrifying personalities instead.



Renesmee maxes her body skill faster than should be possible, and I pull her away from the punching bag to do some other skilling. We're going for some serious scholarship money, even if I don't think I'll be able to get the Ivy League masterclass point this generation. Oddly enough for a Romance Sim, Renesmee has rolled the Want to go to college; it's probably that Fortune secondary showing through.

Besides, that face she makes when she punches that thing is the stuff of nightmares.



...not that her "reading a book" face is much better. Is it just me, or is her not-nose getting a little crooked?



While Renesmee racks up the skill points, Br'yan watches TV to replenish his Fun bar. He's gonna need it so that he can do the other kids' homework.

"Ugh, why do I have to do homework? I'm a Popularity Sim; I want to party!"

It's the life of a spare, dude. Plus, you've still got all those perfect homeworks that you stole from the smart kids in previous grades, and Renesmee and StarDrifter's teachers are still giving out the exact same off-the-shelf assignments. Just copy those and be done with it.



What the... Leonora, why are you carrying Rose around?

"She wants a bottle, and she's so cute, I couldn't resist! Just look at her adorable little button nose, and her pretty green eyes..."



"Bottle! Bottle now!"

"Here you go, sweetie! Drink up!"

Wow... if I didn't know that she was aged up with Renesmee and thus has a glitched Grow Up aspiration, I'd swear she was a Family Sim. I kinda wish she'd gotten that bottle from the fridge up in the nursery so that Rose would be on the floor with all the toddler skilling objects, but hey, can't say no to free babysitting.

Also note the broken dishwasher in the background... I think Renesmee is sabotaging everything in her attempts to kill more family members.



Awww, a hug for Daddy upon getting home from work... you'd almost think this wasn't the most screwed-up Sim family I've ever played.



Oh, hey Shona! I haven't seen you in a while. Why the long face?

"You never cared about me... I was just an ugly spouse for your legacy, and not even for an heir at that! Why couldn't you have left me as an unknown, never-aging townie child?"



Actually, I think Shona's sadness might be at the fact that she picked the same night as her father-in-law to haunt the house. Dick and Shona never liked each other, so of course being around his ghost would make her miserable, even if ghosts can't interact with each other.



Hey Renesmee... why don't you try phoning home?

"Ugh, the telescope? I'm Romance/Fortune, not Romance/Knowledge... shouldn't this be Dad's job?"

Nope, this is for you.

"Wait, gimme a moment... I thought I heard something..."



"AAAAAAHHHH! Grandpa!"

"Hi Renesmee! I hear you've been terrorizing the entire family! That's my girl, hahaha!"

Well, um... that's not what I was hoping for, but I'll take it! Good to see you again, Dick!



Grignr fulfills his vow to honor his mother by maximizing the Cooking skill. Time to put him on others, I suppose. He's honestly gotten really boring at this point; he just walks around the house trying to interact with the kids while I have them skilling, and his Wants panel is all sports-related things because high-level hobby enthusiasm makes your Sims way too effing obsessed. He also seems to have been blessed by the RNG when it comes to lifespan, so I'm stuck with him for a while.



For some reason, the kids didn't want to get out of their winter clothes after getting home from school. Is this a glitch? I think it's a glitch.



"All right, Rosie, if you're going to be too cute for this legacy, you'd better learn to be evil. Give me your best evil face."

"Let's kill everyone!"

"That's the spirit! You're a good little sister, not like that stupid brother of ours. We should start with him."

NO! You girls can unleash your serial killer instincts eventually, I promise, but StarDrifter is off limits!



Hargrid finally gets that promotion to Ecological Guru, which is somehow hilariously fitting and hilariously unfitting at the same time. I can't waste much time on that, though, because we have not one, but TWO birthdays to get to!



First up, we have Rose, the cute spare! All right, little lady, show the readers what a normal Sim child looks like.




Well, you can definitely see how that's the Komei mouth, but she's still way too cute for this legacy. At least she's evil.



Now, it's time for StarDrifter to show us how it's done. Come on, kid, grow up ugly!



...huh. That's, uh, surprisingly decent. He still has no lips, and no cheeks if you get him from a different angle, but overall he looks way too normal to be an Uglacy alien.

True to his namesake, StarDrifter rolls Romance, with a LTW to WooHoo 20 different Sims. Secondary rolls as Pleasure.



Fittingly enough for a Valentine's Day update, Renesmee gets right to her romancing ways with the same goffick townie boy Hargrid used to be friends with in high school. He is powerless to resist her unnatural charms, especially when she whips out the Smooth Talk.

"Roses are red, like blood... blood which becomes warm when I am near you, Eamon."

"Oh, Renesmee... that's beautiful! Oh, how your goffick black eyes sparkle like stars in the empty void of the night."



Apparently the goodbye kiss at the end of a date counts as a first kiss. Dammit, game, you cheated me out of the heart-flurry! Oh well, it's not like I'm never gonna see Renesmee kissing people. Hell, with both her and StarDrifter in the house, it's just going to be constant kissy-kissy time. Both Romance Sims... seriously, guys, what are the odds that I'd get two horny teenage aliens in one goddamn house, and on Valentine's Day to boot?



Not that StarDrifter's acting very horny right now. Instead, he's kicking Br'yan's butt at Rock Paper Scissors. Sims apparently take that game very, very seriously.



Renesmee and StarDrifter have matching pajamas to go with their matching aspirations, and they grew up into them all on their own.



Br'yan, meanwhile, is pretty much wasting house space at this point, and is due to grow up into an Adult any day now, so I send him off to college.

"But I don't wanna go to college! I wanna go set up a studio and be a musician!"

Well, your daddy wants you to go to college, so tough. Grignr's gonna get those Aspiration points if I have to kick your butt all the way to Sim State.



Sim weekends are the absolute worst with kids in the house. At least I can keep them skilling. Rose here is just as much of a skill machine as her big brother and sister, so she's getting into my good books, even if she doesn't have a chance in hell at being the heir. Her predestined hobby is Games, by the way, which, uh... okay. It's not one an Uglacy has had before, so that's cool.



Since I'm getting bored with the skilling, I decide to send Renesmee out on the prowl, where she meets one of John Smith Tricou's spawn. He's a two bolter, so I quickly get them on a date. Renesmee was dipping into the green, so she could use the aspiration points.

Sim boys totally think Renesmee is all that, by the way. Perhaps it's the Green Skinned Space Babe appeal, or perhaps they're just looking at her chest too much to see her grotesquely mutated face.



Renesmee arrives home from her great date just as the Contessa is about to go to work. I've got a whole routine set up with her where as soon as she pops out of the coffin, I cancel the "go to work" action so that I can click beside the car and say "go here". It's far enough away that she runs, shaving off a good few Sim minutes of sunlight exposure. Insane micromanagement in action, people.



Even though I'm not going to be getting the Ivy League point this generation, I decide to try for the pool scholarship with Renesmee. She's probably starting way too late, since that one is infamously hard to get, but I do at least want an idea of how much effort it'll take.



Meanwhile, Hargrid maximizes his Sports enthusiasm...



...and swaps careers again, netting us a sweet, sweet Bookshelf of Education. This will be his third LTW, by the way. Hargrid really does get shit done.



Not one to be content with two boys fawning over her, Renesmee soon has a third: one of the mindslaves childhood friends I aged up with her. He's way too decent-looking to be in the legacy, but as Candi said about Meadow Thayer, we can still use him and throw him away.



It doesn't take long before they're making out in the living room. Note StarDrifter in the background, trying to meet girls online while his sister gets all the action.



Not three minutes after finishing that dream date with Decimus the glitched-aspiration bowl-cut kid, Renesmee gets a call from her downtownie boyfriend Lance asking her out again. Figuring I might as well keep her platinum, I send them to Bernard's Botanical Dining... where she proceeds to roll a bunch of wants for Decimus. Blargh... c'mon, Renesmee, you and Lance have two freaking bolts!



AAARRRRGGGHHHH, he's sucking on her not-nose! I don't want to kink-shame, Lance, but that is one weird-ass fetish you got there.



StarDrifter, meanwhile, was not having much luck with the girls online, and reverse-heart-farted over the one teen walkby girl. I really should get Hargrid and Grignr to invite Camryn and Pearlburger over; they might be better matches.

I'm still kind of shocked at how relatively-decent StarDrifter looks. I know I've talked about doing an heir poll just for ceremony, but... honestly, I don't think it's at all necessary at this point. We all know Renesmee would win. She's a horrifying mutant alien with no nose and a jawline that could probably kill somebody. Plus, she's evil, which is a huge bonus when it comes to Uglacy heirs. If anyone still isn't convinced, well... here are her smustle faces.







The malformed jawline, the pinched not-nose, the buggy eyes, the slightly-lopsided Sandy Bruty lips... she is a true masterpiece of ugliness.



She's also the most popular, with myself as well as the boys. I've taken more pictures of her than any SIm ever, except possibly Lilith Pleasant (I had a crush on her as a teenager... what can I say, goth/punk redheads are hot). Her face just never stops being grotesquely fascinating. Thus, I'm calling it: Renesmee is the Gen 3 heir.



Seriously, you guys, what the hell do you see in her? *sigh* I guess that's another mystery for the ages, along with what Simselves see in Gage Uglacy.

Happy Simming, everyone, and happy Chocolate-Bingeing Valentine's Day!

Comments

[torylltales.livejournal.com]

Teenaged Renesmee looks like if post-facelifts (yes, all of them) Michael Jackson ate a wasp and it stung his cheeks from the inside.

[snarkbotanya.livejournal.com]

...and then he fell into a vat of toxic waste that stained his skin green! LOL

One of the original Uglacy's heirs was said to look like Michael Jackson too. I guess that's just what aliens do to a legacy family... maybe they're fans?

[torylltales.livejournal.com]

or maybe Michael WAS an alien, one of the Sims developers found out, and this is the only way they could tell anyone without being 'disappeared'.